This is one my books that I made last year. I actually edited it in 2016. It is the first book in the Silly-Name Boys series. I’m actually in progress of making the second one. I really hope you like this book.
Chapter 1
I bet you think that kids in an orphanage have names. Or at least normal names. But the boys in the orphanage called, HOME FOR BOYS don’t. The first orphan boy who entered that building and stayed there for quite a while had black hair. And all the boy’s parents had said one word to name their baby boy before mysteriously dying, FYI. The owner of the orphanage was an un-married woman named Ms. Crabapple. Her first name was Willow. Weird name, isn’t it?
Anyway, the black-haired boy’s Mother had said the word, ‘Under’ before she died. So, Ms. Crabapple called him, Underpants. Sometimes, (though she already knew the names she gave them) Ms. Crabapple called them all the wrong names.
(again) Anyway, the second orphan boy who entered the building and stayed there for a long time was a boy with brown hair. His Father had said the word, ‘Arm’ so, Ms. Crabapple named him Armpit. Though he protested it for a while, Armpit got used to it. The third was a boy with blonde hair. His Mother had said the word, ‘Apple’ so, Ms. Crabapple named him Applesauce. Like Armpit, Applesauce got angry with his name, but he got over it, too. The fourth was a boy with (surprisingly) gray hair, and his Father had said the word, ‘Pie’ so, Ms. Crabapple named that boy Pirate. This time, Pirate liked his name. Good for him, right?
The fifth boy had red hair, and his Mother had said the word, ‘Rad’ so, Ms. Crabapple named him Radish. Plus, he looked a little like a radish with his red hair and his face that went radish-red whenever he was embarrassed.
And, finally, the sixth boy with brown-ish\blonde-ish hair. His Mother had actually screamed in pain, ‘HORSE!!’ and then died. So, Ms. Crabapple named him Horseshoe. Though he was not pleased with his name, Horseshoe still stayed quiet.
Chapter 2
While Applesauce was sleeping one night, Armpit opened the door, and snuck into Applesauce’s bedroom. Armpit creaked open his window. Applesauce’s window was the highest. Armpit was trying to help them escape without Ms. Crabapple seeing.
“Hey,” Armpit whispered, shaking Applesauce so he would wake up,
“I opened your window. Now we can escape.”
“Great!” Applesauce whispered back. He had just woken up, “let’s tell Underpants and the others!”
So, Armpit and Applesauce hurried to Underpants, who slept in the bedroom next to Applesauce’s.
“Underpants!” Applesauce whispered. He woke up.
“What?” Underpants asked, rubbing his eyes.
“We should of done this a thousand years ago,” Applesauce began, “but Armpit chose to do this tonight. He opened my window to escape from this orphanage. And I don’t think there’s gonna be any policemen or policewomen out at this hour.”
“Cool!” Underpants replied, “let’s tell Radish and the others!”
So, Underpants, Armpit, and Applesauce rushed to the bedroom next to Underpants’ bedroom: Radish’s bedroom.
“Radish!” Applesauce whispered. Radish woke up.
“Huh?”
“Radish,” Applesauce started again, “we should have done this a thousand years ago, but Armpit chose to do it tonight. He opened my bedroom window to help us escape from this orphanage!”
“But,” Radish responded, “but what about policemen or policewomen?”
“I don’t think they’re out at this hour.” Applesauce answered.
“Are you sure?” Asked Radish, pulling his covers over his head.
“Positive.” Applesauce replied.
“Well then,” Radish said, getting up from his bed, “let’s tell Horseshoe and the others!”
“I think there’s only Horseshoe left.” Underpants said.
“What about Pirate?” Applesauce asked.
“Oh yeah!” Armpit answered.
“Let’s just go!” Radish whispered loudly.
“Okay!” Applesauce, Armpit, and Underpants whispered back together.
So Applesauce, Armpit, Radish, and Underpants ran to the bedroom next to the bedroom that Radish sleeps in: Horseshoe’s bedroom.
“Horseshoe!” Underpants whispered in surprise: Horseshoe was already at his bedroom door to get a drink of water.
“Hi, guys!” he said.
“Shhhhh!” Everyone except Horseshoe whispered.
“Oh,” Horseshoe whispered, “sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Underpants said.
“Applesauce has something to tell you.” Armpit said.
“What?” Horseshoe asked, turning to look at Applesauce.
“Okay,” Applesauce said, taking a deep breath, “here goes nothing. Well, we should have done this a thousand years ago, but Armpit chose to do this tonight. He opened my bedroom window so we could escape from this orphanage! And I don’t think there’ll be any police folks out at this hour!”
“Far out!” Exclaimed Horseshoe in a whisper, “let’s go tell Pirate and, well–” he looked around at all his friends, “nobody other than him!”
So, Applesauce, Armpit, Underpants, Horseshoe, and Radish threw open Pirate’s door. Applesauce explained what Armpit did to Pirate (and about the police folks, too, if you were wondering).
Chapter 3
The boys ran as fast a lightning back to Applesauce’s bedroom. But, unfortunately, they met Ms. Crabapple on the way.
“WHAT?!” she bellowed, “ARE YOU SLUGS DOING?! APPLEPIE, EXPLAIN! NOW!”
“FYI,” Applesauce said calmly, “my name’s Applesauce, not Applepie.”
“I SAID, EXPLAIN!” Ms. Crabapple bellowed in Applesauce’s face.
“Okay, okay,” Applesauce felt Armpit nudge him, asking him to make an excuse, which, luckily, Applesauce was a master of, “we were trying to hoist up a trash can from my window to see what we can eat from there.” The other boys nodded, but some didn’t like the excuse, and others thought that it was brilliant.
“But,” Ms. Crabapple said, “but why Apple- pie’s window?”
“For the second time,” Applesauce began, “my name’s not Applepie. It’s Applesauce, like you named me.”
“JUST TELL ME!!” Ms. Crabapple yelled.
“All right, all right,” Applesauce said, “we wanted to jump down and get it. You know how we like high jumps.:
“No, I don’t,” Ms. Crabapple said, puzzled, “and if you jumped down from that window, then you would probably kill yourself. I never knew you’d like to kill yourself, just like I would not like to be in charge of this orphanage. It’s a small world! And don’t you dare start singing that just annoying song!” The real reason Armpit opened Applesauce’s window instead of his or any of the other boys’ was this:
There was a ladder on the other side that Ms. Crabapple didn’t know of. They would climb down the ladder, and run off. But before doing that, (because of Applesauce’s excuse) they would pick up the garbage can and stow it in the backyard of the orphanage that, hopefully, they would never see again.
Chapter 4
Radish, Applesauce, Armpit, Horseshoe, Pirate, and Underpants hurried back to Applesauce’s bedroom. They scrambled down the ladder against the high tower Applesauce’s bedroom was in. Out the window, down the ladder they went, and Armpit, who was the last one to climb down, shut the window in a tired from running Ms. Crabapple’s face!
“I’LL GET YOU!!” They heard her scream, “YOU SLUGS!! BUT MAYBE, AND HOPEFULLY, THERE’LL BE A GANG OF WOLVES TO HAVE YOU AS THEIR DINNER!! AND, IF THEY DO, I’LL BE BOTH PROUD, AND THINK THAT YOU DESERVE IT!!”
The orphan boys grabbed the trash can still and threw it over the gate leading to the orphanage backyard. Then, they ran as fast as their little legs could carry them out and into the streets.
Chapter 5
The orphans were lucky, and Applesauce was right: There were no police folks out at this hour of day.
“Whew!” Horseshoe panted when they just passed the sign that said: RISDILLER ROAD, and decided to take a rest, “that was close!”
“Too close,” Applesauce added, “we could have been killed on the spot if we stayed any longer and Armpit hadn’t closed the window in mean old Ms. Crabapple’s face! Smashing her forehead against it, making her nose look like a pig’s! That was hilarious! Just hilarious!”
The rest of the boys nodded in agreement. Then, they resumed their walk (run, actually).
Remember when I told you that there were no police folks out there? Well, I was wrong.
There was actually a group of policemen and policewomen standing smack in the middle of Pine Street. More policemen, to be honest.
The boys tried to avoid them, but the only policewoman in the group caught Radish trying to run past her.
“You there!” She pointed at Radish, “what do ya think you’re doing? I’ll tell your parents about you sneaking off! Or did they say you could go?”
“W-well,” Radish began, “my friends and I don’t have any parents, you see. We’re orphans who escaped because we didn’t want to be killed by the mean owner of the orphanage, Ms. Crabapple.” The other boys nodded hastily.
“Well!” A policeman with a bald head said, “what are your names? All of you?! Orphans must have names, as far as I know. Let’s start with you.” He pointed at Radish.
“My name’s Radish.” Replied the boy.
“I’m Underpants.” He said.
“Horseshoe’s my name!” Said, well, you know who said that. (If you don’t, it was Horseshoe.)
“Ahoy there!” Said Pirate, trying to act like one, “Pirate be me name!”
“Good day,” Applesauce said, bowing, “my name’s Applesauce.”
“And I’m Armpit!” Armpit grunted.
“What be your names?” Asked Pirate. “We told you ours! Come on!”
But the police folks were still too astonished at what the boys’ names were to speak.
“Well, then,” Underpants said with a little smirk, “if ya can’t speak, then I guess we’ll be going now.” And with that, they walked away.
Chapter 6
“That was easy-peasy,” Applesauce grinned. “I mean, really, how surprised can people be when we tell them our names?” The other boys replied with a shrug.
So, the orphan boys ran through the rest of Pine Street and onto Juliasimia Lane. Though Underpants was waiting for the faint call of, “WAIT!!” it never came once.
Juliasimia Lane was a short one, so they breezed right through it and continued onto High Street.
Horseshoe mentioned that there was a lot of the word, ‘Street’ in the names of roads so far.
The boys thought that the street’s (or road’s) names don’t usually represent the street (or road). But this time, it did.
There, in the very center of the street, was a very high hill that the boys knew they had to climb.
Chapter 7
So, the little orphans started to climb, and climb, and climb.
When they (finally) got to the top of the hard hill, they saw 2 rows of what looked like hoverboards in a big box. In each row, there was 3 hoverboards. The boys opened the box, and each grabbed a hoverboard of their own. Each hoverboard had its own name.
The name of Underpants’ hoverboard was Bomb, Applesauce’s hoverboard was named Flame, Armpit’s hoverboard was called Bullet, Radish’s hoverboard was named Blade, Horseshoe’s hoverboard was called Turbo, and Pirate’s hoverboard was named Lightning. Cool names, right?
So, the boys picked up helmets, (Radish’s was red, Pirate’s was black, Horseshoe’s was yellow, Applesauce’s was blue, Armpit’s was brown, and Underpants’ was green) climbed up and onto their hoverboards, and zoomed onward.
Chapter 8
But, unfortunately, the boys didn’t know which was onward was. So, they divided up into groups. Radish, Pirate, and Horseshoe were one group, and Armpit, Applesauce, and Underpants were in the other group. Radish’s group zoomed left, while Armpit’s group zoomed right.
In case you were worrying about whether they would get lost or not, well, they didn’t. Instead, they met up with each other in a big circle inside Main Street.
But then, to their surprise, they saw Ms. Crabapple racing towards them, screaming, “I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET YOU IF IT WAS THE LAST THING I DID!! AND THIS TIME, I’LL ORDER VIDEO CAMERAS TO GO ON ALL YOUR BEDS SO THAT, IF YOU EVER TRY TO GET AWAY AGAIN, I’LL KNOW SOONER THAN TONIGHT AND I’LL CATCH YOU AND STRAP YOU TO YOUR BEDS FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHTS IN YOUR LIFE!! YEAH, THAT’S HOW FURIOUS I AM AT YOU SLUGS AND THAT’S WHAT I’LL DO!! FOR REAL, RADISH, FOR REAL!!” She said that last part because Radish had opened his mouth, gulped, and asked, “For real?” and Ms. Crabapple knew that Radish always asks that single question! And it annoys her like crazy!! So, partly, good for Radish! HORRAY FOR HE WHO ANNOYS MEAN OLD MS. CRABAPPLE!! That’s what the orphan boys’ cheer is. Yeah, what I said before I was beginning to say this, that’s what they’re cheer is!
Now, back to the scene.
Ms. Crabapple had managed to jump onto Turbo!! Ms. Crabapple grabbed Horseshoe by the ear and hopped onto Bomb!! Ms. Crabapple grabbed Underpants by the ear and jumped onto Blade!! Ms. Crabapple (easily) grabbed Radish by the ear and hopped onto Flame!! Ms. Crabapple grabbed Applesauce by the ear and jumped onto Lighting, grabbed Pirate by the ear, and hopped over to Bullet!! Ms. Crabapple grabbed Armpit (with difficulty) by the ear, pulled a rope from her pocket, tied it around the boys, and rode Bullet back to the orphanage.
Chapter 9
There Ms. Crabapple first got her video cameras, attached them onto all the boys’ beds, and tied the boys to their beds. It was torture for to the boys! Luckily, Armpit always carried a pocket knife with him and untied the ropes. Then, he cut off the security cameras. So, that night, the boys slept peacefully. That exciting night was just a night in the life of the Silly-Name Boys.
(c) Copyright 2015 by the author, who uses the pen name Algebra Carter. All Rights Reserved.
algebra carter 